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I Hope You’re Already in Love: a Letter to My Future Husband.

10:37 P.M. Nineteen. Heavy eyes. Freshly washed face, climbing into my cold sheets I can’t help but think about what you’re doing. I do this a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I can’t help but think that one day 10:37 will be so much more than just 10:37. It might be 10:37- hailing a cab with you in the New York City rain or maybe 10:37- the movie is over, but you were snoring way before the credits rolled or maybe even 10:37- the baby is crying. Again. Whatever it is, I can’t wait to do 10:37 with you.

Welcome to my brain. 

What do you look like? What makes you tick? These are the little things that keep me up at night. Where do we meet? Have I met you? I’d like to think I have, I thought I had, but what do I know? Actually, scratch that, I hope we haven’t, or that if we have, you have some weird thing for messy girls who don’t yet own checkbooks and live solely off of the main food group that is Frosted Flakes. They’re great ya know. 

I wish I could snap my fingers and have you here with me already, but I’m waiting. Though, I’ll be honest, I haven’t always waited- or I should say- haven’t waited well. There have been boys before you, emphasis on boys, as in not men. As in boys who could have given a frat hop less about defending my honor or leaving me to pick up the shards of my once so naive and fully intact heart.

But they are not totally to blame. I have made my own decisions, many without you in mind. Decisions that have left wounds and stretch marks on the very essence of who I once was. I am writing this from a season of healing, as wounds become scars. I pray that you are given the grace and understanding to love me in every form of myself, realizing that my past is just that- past- and you are my future. 

I am praying for you. Everyday. That even right now you are being shaped and molded into a man of character and integrity. Into a man who will leave, not only memories, but a legacy behind. A man who, in the face of trial, when babies get sick, when our son has really done it this time, when the money just isn’t there, will be on his knees fighting hell for our family. I pray that whatever season you are in, that you are taking notes, allowing the Lord to grow you and reveal Himself to you. I pray that you are a pursuer of the presence of Christ, that in your stillness He would speak wisdom, discernment and vision over your life. That He will raise you up to be a David, a spiritual leader for our home, loving as He loved the church.

I hope that by the time I find you, you are already in love. That you have found the same madly unconditional, wildly all-consuming love that I have found in my Jesus. That you have experienced grace upon grace, and that it is that same love and that same grace that leads you to me. 

Love you soon.

36 Comments

  • Stephanie

    Wow, you simply amaze me., out there is some perfect man that God is molding just for YOU❤️

  • Phyllis

    Wow, I’m amazed at your wisdom! I can’t help but comment on each writing….just to say, keep doing what you are doing. This 62 year old lady (me:) enjoys every writing!! God bless you

  • Cindy

    Oh my goodness this is such a beautifully written article of LOVE! Thanks for sharing and actually diving in some of the similar thoughts I carry in my heart!

  • e chapman

    Lauren, I prayed for my children from young age that the Lord would bless them as He had myself with a Godly
    spouse that Loved Him and wanted to live for the Lord, and that’s what God wanted for them as well but he
    doesn’t push himself on people they have to want for themselves, I’m so proud of you and your desires to Wait
    on the Lord to fulfill your dreams far beyond your imagination. The Lord has gifted you with great wisdom and
    ability to share it in words. I’m sure you are sharing his love with those you are close to, but I can see you
    being used by God to Mentor young girls and boys. Love and Blessings ms Emily

  • Brianna Farr

    Miss Lauren,

    I stumbled across your blog for the first time today. It’s nice and cozy here. I think I may stay a while. Several times I’ve attempted to right this post, and so far I’ve failed. Beautifully done, dear.

    Grace & peace,
    Brianna.

  • Deborah Gaughf

    That was amazing. You do have a way with words…like you grandmother. That is stated in such a way one will think of it often…well said and beautifully inspired.

  • Winona Pedigo

    I teared up reading this and thinking of my granddaughter. She shared on facebook with me. Just beautiful and moving!

  • Ana Winans

    This is how I feel every single day. I’m 19 as well and am always thinking and praying for my future Mr. You have beautifully written it in words that describe every aspect of the yearning perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Kellie

    I couldn’t have written it better, you wrote this with so much honesty. I can relate so much. Looking forward to reading more.

  • Lei Lei

    God will reveal his perfect plan for you. Poppa and I love you. Keeps our hearts at peace knowing you seek God’s plan for your life.

  • JJJasper

    Wow! Wise words from an amazing young woman! So proud of you sugar! The Lord is using your pen and your heart to encourage and inspire others. I too, am waiting, for my awesome son-n-law! We love you La.

  • Kim

    Such a beautiful letter! Thank you for sharing your heart. I remember being 19 and having very similar thoughts, although I would never have been able to articulate them as well. The wait for your 10:37 is so worth it! Praying for you as you wait.

  • Chelsea Wildmon

    Lauren,

    Love this & you so much! Your words are beautiful. God has your future husband picked and I know your future together will be bright. Proud of you sweet girl. Keep writing and inspiring others!

    Chelsea

  • Kaitlyn

    Ahhh! I loved reading this! I’m getting married in 24 days and reading this made my heart so excited! God has blessed me with a wonderful man and I’m so excited to pray for him tonight. Thanks for the encouragement!!

  • Jana

    Wow! So beautifully written-I shared this with my 20 year old daughter who is struggling in her singleness. Perfect for her-She loved it

  • Christina Mader

    This is what makes me believe that there is someone that loves you know matter what.

  • David Coffman

    Some of the same thoughts I have. Really cool, appreciate you taking the time to write this. Makes me more patient and strengthens the thought that every relationship serves as a lesson for the one that won’t fail.

  • Lisa

    Wow……I’ve never read such heartfelt words that echoed my own thoughts and feelings as these have. Thank you Lauren. God Bless you as you wait for His Best!!!

  • Londa

    WOW, just wow! I really needed this right now! It’s amazing what you come across when you least expect it!!!

  • luann butler

    I don’t feel so weired now… writing “him” (I always call him John Doe) sometimes is the only thing that keeps me sane!!!

  • Kelsey Traylor

    Thank you for letting God speak such beautiful words through you. This is such a sweet reminder that many women and even men need each and every day. God bless you!

  • Stephanie

    So humbling and so beautiful. Thank you for sharing such an honest account. I needed to read this. 🙂

    All the Glory to Him!

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