I chose this picture bc this is what it looks like on the other side 🙂
Somebody asked me recently why I write about brokenness so much. The truth is there’s a lot of hurting and broken people. In my 22 years the Lord has allowed me to see a lot of brokenness in my own life. Death. Rejection. Shattered hopes. And maybe in the moment I couldn’t see what was going on behind the curtain, but now I believe without a shadow of doubt it all had one purpose—ministry.
“there are many sorts of broken hearts, and Christ is good at healing them all.” -Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
The thing about heartbreak is there is no one type of heartbreak. It comes in many shapes and sizes. Heartbreak isn’t always about a boy. Heartbreak is the mama kissing the face of her lifeless child. Heartbreak is sitting at your little brother’s funeral, numb and trying to make sense of it all. Heartbreak is not making the team. Heartbreak is the loss of trust, a relationship breathing its last breath. Heartbreak can be self-inflicted and a result cyclical sin. The thing about heartbreak is you can know its coming, but there is no amount of bracing yourself that could ever prepare you for the depth of the ache. With every breath you can feel the gargle in your lungs as if you’re taking on water, drowning, unable to reach the surface. Panic sets in, you begin to claw and scratch looking for any way out of this valley you’re in.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4.
Yea though I walk. Not yea though I run. Not yea though I though I repel up the side. Yea though I walk. We live in a fallen world and heartbreak was meant to be felt. It was meant to be walked through, not expedited. It’s the heartbreak that makes room for us to be pieced back together, to be made into something new. It’s the heartbreak that creates the pressure that creates the cracks that will be filled with the healing. It’s the heartbreak that is the gateway into a season of waiting and it is the waiting that calls for dependency that draws us into relationship with the Healer. We must learn to walk, even if its baby steps, even if you lose your balance, we must learn to walk and to wait well.
There is such thing as active waiting. Pursuing the will of God while you wait, loving His people along the way, understanding His character. There is so much to be done in the waiting. So much beauty to be seen. If you are waiting today, if you are hurting this morning, I want you to know that you were made for this. You were made to be forged and refined and made new. I pray that you would allow the Lord to give purpose to this pain you’re feeling. And if the pain that you’re feeling is a result of sin, I want you to know that there is nothing but grace and forgiveness waiting for you. This is not where you lay down and die, this is where you look death and rejection and heartache in the face and you say, “you do not win, you might hurt, but you do not win.”
Teach us to walk, Jesus. Help us to wait well and to trust that Your plan is good and you character is good. Encourage our hearts this morning, Father. Help us to walk in the things that You say are true of us. Let us feel Your presence in the fire and the forging. Breathe life into the lungs of dead things. We love you, Jesus!