love & lifestyle

Valentine’s Day: Let’s Talk About It

Let’s get this out of the way, say it with me, class: this is not a shot at a shameless plug. This is real life.

Okay so yeah, it’s February 14th.

A man-made holiday like any other. Yesterday was February 13th and tomorrow will be February 15th, business as usual. But for some of us—this is not just Tuesday. For some of us, we avoid this day like the plague as it holds blatantly red and pink reminders of deep heartache and brokenness that somehow smell just like roses. Ugh rude. 

For others of us—this is it. This is the mother of all days. Your middle name is Russell Stover. You’ve got it all planned right down to the hashtag. Nothing can soil your cloth diaper, Cupid! And that is all good and fine. We are wired to desire and celebrate love! This is not a dig at Vday. 

But let’s talk about it. 

As of four-ish weeks ago I would’ve been the recipient of the best of the best—flowers, candy, dinner, a bear bigger than Tehas—all of the above.

(Oh shoot. Yeah. We all know where this is going.)

Let’s backup a little. In November the Lord launched into motion this thing that I wanted nothing to do with. Alright? Let’s just be real. It started as a nudge that I gave my very best efforts to ignore for the sake of comfort. But before I knew it, it was a full-fledged push off of the side of a cliff. All of the sudden I was freefalling—sitting on a couch in front of this man who loved me and I was telling him that Jesus was calling me to step out of a relationship that I was 1000% sure He had called me to in the first place.

What do you even do with that?

Here’s the deal—The Lord will not call you to obedience and fail to supply the grace and peace to see you through it. Yahweh-yireh.

I was walking to the altar, but definitely not the one I expected to be. I couldn’t help but imagine that this had to feel something like Abraham did as he journeyed up the mountain to set fire to the promise that he had waited so long for.

I didn’t understand, but I knew I had a choice to make. I could choose to remain in the safety net of my ever-so-comfortable relationship and set myself up for the inevitable fall out that comes with disobedience, or I could choose to put my faith into action and step onto the tight-rope of promise—believing that the Ultimate Author was writing a story better than anything I could ever fathom or put to paper.

I wrestled with it. I tried to act like I couldn’t hear God. I didn’t want it, because it meant breaking a perfectly good heart. A heart that for whatever reason loved me to the best of its ability and made it look good. And selfishly, it also meant being single. Again. For a year I poured my heart, soul and every minute of my time into securing the joists of a house that had foundation problems, when Scripture so plainly warns us in Matthew 7 if we hear the Word of the Lord and do not act on them—we will be no better off than the man who built his house on the sand.

“And He told this parable: A man had a fig tree that was planted in his vineyard. He came looking for fruit on it and found none. He told the vineyard worker, ‘Listen, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it even waste the soil?’ But he replied to him, ‘Sir, leave it this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. Perhaps it will bear fruit next year, but if not, you can cut it down.'” Luke 13:6-9

I looked around and all I could seem to find were empty, brittle limbs and the ground around us reeked of rotten fruit. So like…what now?

Let’s talk about it.

First, let’s make one thing clear: The Lord will not take something our human minds perceive as “good” or even “great”—something we mistake for promise and replace it with something less than.

When you prune something or when an old crop is uprooted—room is made and the soil is cultivated and readied for the season of new crop. So if the same is true for strawberries and soy beans, why do we think Jesus would do any less for us? If He is calling you to close a door—I challenge you to loosen your death grip on the doorknob and do it. Dance in the hallway, and get. ready. because if you are allowing Jesus room in His rightful place in your life another one is about to swing WIDE open!

Celebrate life and love today! Celebrate relationship. Hey, celebrate your singleness. Celebrate saying yes to Jesus and getting a little uncomfortable. Stop confining yourself to halfway living and celebrate stepping into the life of abundance He created you for!

“‘In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,’ says the Lord. ‘If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation,’ says your God.” Isaiah 66:9

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vineyard keeper. 2 Every branch in Me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.” John 15:1-2

“We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy.” Colossians 1:9-11

Digging Deeper:

  1. Is Jesus calling you to something you don’t want to do? Write it down. Say it out loud. Get it out there.
  2. Be it relationship, a job, a church—is there fruit? Are you and those around you growing? If not, maybe it’s time to start taking steps towards the door.
  3. Do you believe that the Lord is who He says He is? That He will not allow something to die without birthing something new? Why or why not?


  • Carolyn

    I am proud of you! And although you may not feel particularly strong, you are empowering many with your strength. Thank you!

  • Susan

    Good wisdom from a young person! Your words are the gist of Hebrews 10. Hang in there. You are spot on- God blesses obedience. He’s going to do great things in your life. Pretty cool that you blog so others can see the lessons you have learned also!

  • Lynn Grier

    Thanks for sharing this post. When God called me to the church I am currently serving, I was asking him, who are you talking to. I was perfectly happy where I was, and had no intention of leaving. I had been there for 23 years. God finally got through to me that He needed me at this other church. I have been there for 11 years now, and can see the reasons why God wanted me there. Others didn’t see it and may not understand yet. But I knew that if I were disobedient I would rob myself of blessings as well as the church where I had been for so long.

  • Jan Clifton

    You are wiser than your years & I thank God for what I read in your blogs. I am much older than you, but the Lord used this particular blog to strengthen my understanding of His call on my life in a new season. May God continue to hold you fast in the grip of His hand as you walk confidently with Him in obedience.

  • Emily Chapman

    “GOD IS ABLE” I truly believe this and know that you do as well, bring it to him in prayer, trusting that he will intervene in your situation, God can Handle it, Love and Prayer for you Lauren Black.

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